Wednesday, April 6, 2011

More Than A Mother


Every year, new members arrive at her doorstep and she instantly becomes mom to 90 new girls. Fraternities and sororities are a significant part of life at the University of Mississippi for many students. What most people do not realize is that each sorority and fraternity has a housemother who is responsible for the day-to-day activities of their respective house.

Mary Miles, know by her girls as ‘Ms. Mary’, is the leading lady behind the operations of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority at the University of Mississippi. Not actively seeking out the job, Miles was contacted a friend who informed her of the open position. Miles did not know anything about being a house-mother, but being an empty-nester and single, she decided to take pack her bags and move from her home in Tupelo, MS to the Kappa Kappa Gamma house in Oxford, MS where she started her position as the Kappa Kappa Gamma house mother in 2006.

Being a housemother is more than just living with 60 girls and being a mother to 250. There is a lot of “house keeping” business that Miles must make sure is taken care of everyday. She must make sure everything is working, if not, repaired. She must make sure the workmen get in and do their job as quickly and efficiently as possible, as well as making sure all the staff are doing theirs. There is yard maintenance, paying bills, ordering groceries, making the weekly menu and reporting to her boss, the Kappa Kappa Gamma house board. Miles meets with the house board only three times a year, but is in contact with them everyday. Another person Miles is extremely involved with is the chapter President, Catherine Scott.

“I have a meeting with Ms. Mary and the house board twice a semester to discuss major things, such as finances. But I e-mail back and forth with her everyday about smaller things like meal changes, daily adjustments with the house, etc,” said Scott.

With every job come benefits and downfalls. Miles says in the case of her job, the positives outweigh the negatives.

“I really enjoy my job; the girls, the atmosphere, being on campus, “working at home,” not having to get dressed up in business clothes everyday and meeting so many new, great people,” said Miles. “One downfall of being a house-mother is not knowing everybody. I don’t think it’s possible for me to know everyone. Sometimes it get’s difficult managing the house, the staff and making sure everyone likes everything.”

Every parent hopes to see his or her child succeed. Miles said that she doesn’t know of any housemother on campus who does not want the students of their respective house to be successful. According to Senior Kappa Kappa Gamma member Christina Bell, “Ms. Mary is always there to provide a reassuring word or advise on anything I would normally go to my own mother about.”

Additionally, she is on call 24-hours a day to parent in need of some special assistance that can vary from help with a sick child to advice on school, even boyfriend problems.

“As a housemother, I truly support everyone. If they ask me for help, I’m going to help them, no matter what the circumstance. I always make myself available for them,” said Miles.

My mom always said taking care of three children was a full-time job. Ms. Mary, who is the mom to over 200 girls, says her position is one she is lucky to have because of all the girls she’s associated with.

“The troubles are all worth while when I get to see my girls mature in life and succeed in school,” said Miles.

Once a mom, always a mom.

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